Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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