Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
