How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I want to fling myself into the sun
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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