guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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