oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i think my cat just said my name.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
