Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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