Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
