One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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