I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
