let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
