I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
