my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
