So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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