Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
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