I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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