Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
