From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
