its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
