Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
