you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
