so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
