I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize