ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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