I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
