Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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