been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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