return my video game
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
