Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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