Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
