jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
