Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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