Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
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It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
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WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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