I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You did what with his pubic hair?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize