So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
A+ Viking dick
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