the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I am mentally ready for anal.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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