Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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