whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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