yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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