dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
