I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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