Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I love having hate sex.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
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