i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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