What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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