sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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