If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
