we have pet lesbian snakes
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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