I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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