Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
