How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
