Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
