I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
