I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
