Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
