so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
