We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
