At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
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