party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize