I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
