I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
