My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
operation have a gay friend backfired
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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