party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
