Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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