you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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