You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
