I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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