idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
