I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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